So I get this table. It’s a big table, a heavy table. Very heavy, my machine could barely lift it kind of heavy. Short to say, every move from arrival to setup was calculated with utmost concern. If you drop this thing or rough house it, you risk damage or even death. It’s a serious thing boys. I golf, I can’t lose a hand or a foot over a table. I’d be the biggest loser ever.
Anyways I get this thing in the shop, legs on, basically setup in the entryway because that’ is the closest spot from arrival I could get it. Now, I need to position it, no in-shop equipment so this is a manual op we are headed into. I have stuff everywhere too, so each of the turns are also well calculated. Also, I’m dealing with a section of concrete that’s well past it’s better days so that’s just an additional bundle of fun.
It’s not easy to get this this table started but once you do, you have an incredibly smooth and easy roll on your hands. It’s amazing how well something this heavy rolls, it’s kind of like driving a boat, it just feels “good in your hands” kind of amazing. The casters are actually so good, and the wheels roll so well, you also have the problem of stopping this table. If you lose control of it, you have a f*cking nightmare on your hands. This table would go straight through a stick building wall like nothing, and then continue on unbothered. I humbly learned to respect this on the very first move.
I get it moved about 20 feet. Now I have to rotate it around a corner and I decide to push the ass end around first. Get it done. Now the head needs turned. Get it done. Now the ass end needs one more turn. And this was a turn where the casters would have to change direction, so even harder to get the table started. So I tried to turn it. Nothing. Not even a hint. It’s sitting down refusing to move. Might as well have been anchored into the bedrock. Dude, I was pushing so hard, I actually took the time to make sure my body position and movement wouldn’t give me a hernia. I even lodged myself between another welding table and tried to leg press this table to get it started. Both legs bro. At one point, I grabbed a giant set of pipe wrenches to see if I could turn the casters to help it. It was humid here, all my clothes were soaked in sweat down to my boxers. I’m talking jump in the pool fully clothed soaked. The table wouldn’t give me anything. It was like it hated me.
So now I’m into my Egypt phase, and i’m thinking force didn’t work so I either need more force, or have to use leverage. Not many leverage points available, I tried making some, didn’t work. Table still wouldn’t move. So now I need better leverage points. Thinking what part of the building I can work with to pull this table at the right angle. Only viable contenders involve multiple pulleys. F*ck.
I don’t want to do this. I’m hesitating, just thinking how it’s ALWAYS the unexpected things that just completely trash the day. Slowly walking around the table thinking how bad my life sucks right now. Started looking at the casters as as I walk by each one. Never seen casters like these, they are unique, the way the foot pedal works. Don’t really know if I like the design, but don’t dislike it either. It’s just unique. I’ll get used to it, it might even be awesome and I don’t realize it yet.
As I start my second slow lap of defeat, my brain does that thing… you know… where it tells you that something is up, but not exactly what. Then I see it. It’s obvious. I felt so retarded. Like King of the Retards retarded.
Click. 30 seconds later table was within a few inches of exactly where it needed to be.
And I guess that’s just how good Fireball equipment is. Kind of cool when you think about it.
P.S. If anyone says anything about me writing bad words, go become a woodworker. Then you can whittle all day long. How exciting.
Edit: I work with wood too, it’s just hilarious to make fun of woodworkers. You see a bad weld, so you tell the guy he should consider woodworking instead.